Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Showing Off on Mother's Day

     After the fiasco earlier, I kept the deep pink for about a week. It surprised my wife, who thought the bright pink was the end of this "joke" with our girls. It certainly hit a nerve with her and concern began to fester within her.  I confronted her and told her that I kind of liked it. I liked having my toes colored, even in pink. 
     Mother's day came around and the weather had just gotten warm and sunny. A perfect day to show off my piggies. I wore a more casual black shirt, linen pants, and one of my favorite sandals by Prada. The toes were so happy as we headed out to church and to brunch afterwards. I figured that at church people were at least restrained and on their best behavior. No one would come up to me and say, "What da f...!" Besides, we don't really know people there that well at all. For the most part, I went undetected and felt that my theory was right, that most people are nice under God's close watch. We took some family pictures at the park that turned out quite well. There's one that showed from head to toe and I think we should print that one out and place it over the fireplace.
     Scores of families were at the restaurant waiting in the lobby. My heart quivered as I held my chin up high. Afterall, this was as awkward as I made it to be. I got many strange looks and witnessed many others leaning toward their buddies to talk about my toes. Manly men disapproved of this. It was obvious. I felt that maybe they'd wait for me in the bathroom to beat the crap out of me. I felt like I was in high school again. Deep inside of me I knew I had drank too much iced tea and that I had to go sometime before the conclusion of the meal. I tried to hold it. I tried to ignore my bulging and uncomfortable bladder. I knew that I'd have to stroll through a very crowded restaurant to get to the potty. I mustered the courage to get up and made eye contact with not a soul. I entered the restroom only to find that no one else was there. Sigh! I could just see what a guy on the next urinal would do. There's already an unspoken rule among men that at the urinals one's eyes don't stray toward the other's golden stream. It's just not right. Privacy, you know. You look straight ahead or straight down. My pink would surely catch the wondering eye. A feeling of relief as well as excitement overcame me as we headed home.
     I survived my first exposure, unscathed. This would only serve to bolster my confidence. Now I can't wait to show them off anywhere.  

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